I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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