Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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