I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
