Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
