Grow some girl-balls and come out already
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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