Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I need moral support for this bender
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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