Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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