she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
