we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
