so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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