i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize