lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
