I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
