I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
