its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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