You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize