Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
