Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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