You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
