Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
