: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize