I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
