Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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