i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize