The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
