discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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