so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
tell me about the eggs
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