Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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