Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
