Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
