Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
