i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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