??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
wow bdsm is so cute
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
