At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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