You're my little dorito
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
