sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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