He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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