I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
