You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
