It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
