I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
