the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
