this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
