Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
