If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
