I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
