There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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