So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize