can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
