ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so that wasnt chicken after all
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
