Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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