All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize