I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
did you just send me my own nude
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
