He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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