I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Help. Why am I so naked?
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