I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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