Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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